I'll Be There

Well I got this video off of you tube. and i should have looked at it all the way. At the end it says something along the lines of " White or Black hes still the king of pop" ... I'm not going to get into it to much, but I will say that I don't condone that message. I agree with it. But I think it might have been said by someone absent minded about his condition.

With L.O.V.E

Rachel Roo

Part 1: Childhood, Loneliness, Cartoons, and Brothers

Shmuley Boteach: Was there an age at which your realized, "Oh my gosh, I missed my childhood?"
Michael Jackson: Yes, I remember distinctly... It's like being on a ride you can't get off and you think, "Oh my God. What did I do?" and you are committed and you can't get off. It hit me before I was a teenager. I wanted to badly to play in the part across the street because the kids were playing baseball and football but I had to record. I could see the park, right across the street. But I had to go in the other building and work until late at night making the albums. I sat thee looking at the kids with tears running down my face and i would say, "I am trapped and I have to do this for the rest of my life. I am under contract." But I wanted to go over there so bad it was killing me, just to make a friend to say,"Hi." I used to walk the streets looking for someone to talk to. I told you that.
SB: How old were you?
MJ: It was during the Thriller album.
SB: So you were the biggest star in the whole world and...
MJ: I was looking for people to talk to. I was so lonely I would cry in my room upstairs. I would think, "That's it. I am getting out of here," and i would walk down the street. I remember really saying to people, "Will you be my friend?"
SB: They were probably in shock.
MJ: They were like,"Michael Jackson!" I would go, " Oh God! Are you going to be my friend because of Michael Jackson? Or because of me?" I just wanted someone to talk to.
SB: Did you find it?
MJ: Yeah, well, I went to the park and there were kids playing on swings.
SB: So that's when you decided that children were the answer. They are the only ones who treat you as a person?
MJ: Yeah, that's true.
SB: So that's the age that it hit you, "Oh my gosh. I did lose my childhood, because these are the only people I can identify with."
MJ: I suffered a lot in that way. I knew that something was wrong with me at the time. But I needed someone... That's probably why I had the mannequins. I would say because I felt I needed people, someone, I didn't have... I was too shy to be around real people. I didn't talk to them. It wasn't like old ladies talking to plants. But I always thought I wanted something to make me feel like I had company. I always thought, "Why do I have these?" They are like real babies, kids, and people, and it makes me feel like I am in a room with people.
SB: Why were you too shy to talk to real people? Was it because you had only ever learned to perform and you weren't given the opportunity to hang out?
MJ: That's it. There was no hang-out time.
SB: Clearly you have your kids, which makes a very big difference. But there is a part of us that isn't only a parent. There is a part of us that needs other forms of interaction.
MJ: What kind of interaction?
SB: Someone you can unburden yourself to emotionally in a way that Prince couldn't understand or Paris couldn't understand.
MJ: Mmmm. Friends and certain people you can trust. Elizabeth (Taylor), or whoever...Mac (Macaulay Culkin), Shirley Temple (Black), people who have been there.
SB: So its is always people who have been there, all these childhood stars?
MJ: They (people who have not been childhood stars) say,"Yeah, I know what you mean," but they don't know what you mean. They are just trying to agree with you.
SB: do you discuss with friends who were also child stars individual things that happened to them? Or do you not even need to say it: Do you sort of understand it?
MJ: You know, it's like telepathy. I wish you could have seen Shirley Temple and myself.
SB: Are you still in touch with her?
MJ: I am going to call her. I've gotta call her again. I kept thanking her and she was saying, "Why?" and i said, "Because all of you have ever done for me."
SB: Do you think you will ever dedicate a song to her?
MJ: I would love to.
SB: So Macaulay Culkin doesn't need to say to you, " I was on the set and this happened with my father." You don't even have conversations like that?
MJ: Oh yea. There is a precious sweet little soul who is a baby, Macaulay Culkin, who is wondering, " How did I get caught up in all of this? I never asked to be an actor." He always wanted out. You gotta watch that energy when we gets heavy on his father, man, it tears into him and that's what happens, you know. Oh, but I saw it myself with him. (Michael screams) "Mac get in here!" the screaming...
SB: So that reminded you of what you had to go through? He made a lot of the choices that you did. He tried to hold on to his childhood for as long as possible. But there are other child stars who didn't, like Brook Shields, whom you were once close to. What about someone like Brook Shields who to the world looks like she didn't make childhood choices, she didn't try to rediscover her childhood. Do you think it will extract a price? Do you think that Macaulay Culkin and you and others can be healthier because you understand what you are missing and you need to compensate?
MJ: You know, with certain people I understand and with certain ones I don't. With her she started out being a model, so it wasn't like being on set all day, every day. She did modeling. She wasn't a movie star until she did, I think it was Pretty Baby, and she played a female prostitute at the age of... I think it started around twelve for her. There was a lot of photography, so it wasn't like all day like what we did, all day, from early to night. I think it affects people differently, but it is all the same. She is very sweet, smart. She is not an airhead. She is real smart. A lot of people think that when someone is beautiful they are like an airhead. She is very smart.
SB: What other childhood stars have you been close to?
MJ: Not a lot of them are left. That's what is scary. Most of them self-destruct.
SB: At age thirteen you became a character in a cartoon series. Was that hard to handle?
MJ: I woke up every Saturday morning. I couldn't wait.
SB: To watch The Jacksons?
MJ: To watch The Jackson 5 cartoon. I felt so honored that I had been make into a cartoon. I was so happy, you have no idea. We didn't have to do anything. It was someone else's voice. They just animated us and used our songs off the albums that we recorded and it played for years and years. I remember I was in Brunei in a hospital doing a show for the Sultan. It was the most beautiful hospital I have ever seen in my life and I'm laying in bed and there's The Jackson 5 cartoon playing on television and I'm like, I can't believe this. They show it all the time. The same company did The Beatles, The Osmonds, and The Jackson 5.
SB: So this is one of the tings that you liked the most?
MJ: Oh, I loved it.
SB: Did that make you feel more connected with the children round the world? Because you know that children mostly are going to watch it right?
MJ: I loved it. It put me in another world. It was like, "God, I'm in another world." I felt special. I think I felt more special about that then the hit records and the concerts and everything. That impressed me more then any of the other stuff.
SB: Now, out of your five brothers you were getting more attention then any of them. You were becoming the star until you were spun off as a solo artist. Wast that hard for your brothers to handle? Was it hard for you? Was there any analogy to the store in the Bible about Joseph getting more attention then his brother, until they hurt him?
MJ: It didn't some into my mind and I didn't see it until later and then it showed up later. My mother saw it, but she would bring it to my attention. But I think the wives kind of instigated it. It is what broke us up as a group. Wives are what broke up the Beatles. It is what broke up Martin and Lewis. It is what broke up all the great acts. The wives get involved and they start saying to one member, "You're the star. He needs you. You don't need him."
Then he comes into work the next day puffed up with pride and they start to fight. And that's what happened with me and my brothers. They really did. I saw it happen.
SB: That's what turned you off marriage a bit?
MJ: It really did. I said, "I don't want no part of this." I said, "I am not getting married," I said it for years.
SB: Was there any way to have stopped it? Could you have said to your brothers, "Look! What is happening to us?" Could you have stopped it? They married young. They must have been lonely as well.
MJ: They married young to get away from my father, to get out of the house. We begged them not to get married and they did.
SB: Why did you stick around the house?
MJ: I was there at the height of Thriller. I thought I was still this little kid. It's not time for me to go yet. I'm still a boy. Its not time for me to leave home yet. I really felt that in my heart.
SB: But you were till afraid of your father? How does that come together?
MJ: He wasn't managing me at the time, but we was getting a royalty check. He was a little calmer and he was proud of me. But he wouldn't say it.
SB: Did you want to hear it from him?
MJ: I needed it.
SB: More then anyone in the world?
MJ: Yeah.
SB: He will never said it. And he doesn't say it now? Do you think that he knows that you are the biggest star in the world, or do you think in his mind he doesn't get it?
MJ: He knows that but he finds it hard to give you a compliment and that's what made me into such a perfectionist trying to impress him. He'd be in the audience and he would make a face like this. He'd go (makes a facial gesture) and it would scare the bejesus out of you and you'd think, "I can't mess up. He'll kill us." Everybody would clap and he would be like, "We're going to hit you hard. Don't you mess up." I'd be like, "God, I'm in trouble after the show."
SB: Given that there are two motivating forces in life, fear and love, could you have gotten even further if the motivation had been love? Like if your father had said, "Michael, I'll love you anyway, but you can do it." Sure, you can now decry the fear that your father instilled in you. But the problem with that is, you became the biggest star in the world. So maybe fear is a better motivating force then love. To be sure, I don't believe that. But does your example show that that's true?
MJ: I think there is a balance. Is it worth giving up fatherhood? Is it worth giving up the love I could bestowed upon him, and having that camaraderie when we look in each other's eyes, walking through the park, holding hands? I don't think its worth giving up all that. I am sorry. That's golden.
SB: If your career now suffers for being a hands-on father, you are prepared to accept that price?
MJ: No, I am not prepared for that. I can do both. I feel I have to.
SB: You feel that God gave you this potential, this gift, and you have got do so something with it?
MJ: I have to.




Tomorrow I'm going to do 2 sections in Part One. I will do "The Father-Manager" and "Michael's Appearance: An Ugly Man in the Mirror" They are both pretty short.

Again, thank you for reading.. Who ever is reading.
And make sure to share the L.O.V.E. and Michael's Message.

XOXO
Rachel Roo

The Writing Was On The Wall: Talking About Dying Young

Shmuley Boteach: So would you say the best thing that's ever happened to the Beatles is the fact that they broke up, and that's why they had this longevity, because suddenly, kaboom!, they weren't around anymore, so you could never get bored of them? They never fizzled?
Michael Jackson: Yeah, Marilyn Monroe died young. You didn't get to see her grow old and ugly. I mean that's the mystery of James Dean.
SB: And people say about the Beatles, "I wish they were together."
MJ: Yeah, yeah.
SB: And you (the fan) become part of the wish then. The public keeps them going because they so badly want them back together.
MJ: Absolutely, or else they'd be funky and old now and you wouldn't care.
SB: So is that an argument, Michael, for you to say one day, "That's it," and quit?
MJ: Yeah, I would like some kind of way to disappear where people don't see me anymore at some point, and just do things for children but not be visual. To disappear is very important. We are people of change. We need change in our lives. That's why we have winter, spring, summer, fall.
SB: Okay, but you want a long life and a healthy life. You don't want to disappear like, God forbid, the way some of these stars have disappeared, the way Marilyn Monroe has. You don't want to die young?
MJ: Um, your asking me an interesting question. You sure you want my answer?
SB: I do.
MJ: Okay, I'll give you my honest answer. Okay, um. My greatest dream that i have left-I have accomplished my dreams with music and all that and I love music and entertainment-is this children's initiative, is this thing that we are doing. But, um, 'cause I don't care about (anything else), I really don't, I don't care about (career), I honestly don't Shmuley. What keeps me going is children, or else I would, I would seriously... I've told you this before, I swear to god I mean every word. I would, I would just throw in the towel if it wasn't for children or babies. And that's my honest (answer)...and I've said it before, if it weren't for children, I would choose death. I mean it with all my heart.
SB: Choose death the way Marilyn Monroe chose death?
MJ: Some kind of way. I would find a way to go away off the planet 'cause I wouldn't care about living anymore. I'm living for those babies and children.
SB: You see them as really a part, a spark of God here on the earth?
MJ: I swear they are.
SB: So for you it's the most spiritual thing in the world?
MJ: There is nothing more pure and spiritual to me then children and I cannot live without them. If you told me right now, "Michael, you can never see another child," I would kill myself. I swear to you I would because I have nothing else to live for. That's it. Honestly.
SB: So do you want to have a long life?
MJ: Let me take back that word swear, 'cause I don't swear to God. I take that back. I don't want to sue that word. Say this question again?
SB: You said you want to disappear. Do you think its important to disappear?
MJ: I don't want a long (life)... I don't like, I don't. I don't. I think growing old is the ugliest, the most, the ugliest thing. When the body breaks down and you start to wrinkle, I think it's so bad. I don't, that's something I don't understand, Shmuley. And I never want to look in the mirror and see that. I don't understand it. I really don't. And people say that growing old is beautiful and it's this and that. I disagree. I totally do.
SB: So you would die before that happens?
MJ: Um... I don't want to grow old. I would like to get...
SB: What if you could stay young in spirit Michael?
MJ: Yeah, that's important to me.
SB: You may have wrinkles, but don't you want to see Prince and Paris grow up?

(SIDE NOTE FROM ME: WHEN THIS INTERVIEW WAS CONSTRUCTED, PRINCE MICHAEL THE 2ND AKA BLANKET, WAS NOT BORN YET.)

MJ: Yes, I do.
SB: Don't you want to see their children?
MJ: I just don't want to look old and start forgetting. I want to always be youthful and have the energy to run around and play hide and seek, which is one of my favorite games. I wanted to play so badly at your house the last time we were there 'cause you have a nice big house for it. Um, I have to see people grow old, Shmuley.
SB: Haven't you seen people who grow old but keep their youthfulness. They behaved like they were still young?
MJ: Yeah, when they have a youthful heart, I love that. When they start to forget and wrinkle, (and) their body parts break down, it hurts me. Or when they get...
SB: Who has that happened to among the people you've loved? Does your mother grow old on you? Your father? Any entertainers that you know in the industry who grow old?
MJ: Yeah, people I love very much that died and I don't understand why. I was in love with this man, in love with him. And he was my friend, Fred Astaire, and I don't understand. You see Fred, since I was a little, a kid, Fred Astaire lived very close to our house and he used to talk to me all the time when I was little and you know he would teach me things, he would tell me you know, I was gonna be a big star and all this stuff that I didn't even think about when I was little. And to see him dance in movies, I was like amazed. I didn't know anybody could move so beautifully, you know? And, um, when I see him get to the point... One day he said to me, "You know Michael, I, if I was to do one spin right now, I would fall flat on my face. My equilibrium is totally gone." And when he'd answer the door when I'd come to his house, this is how he (walked), just like this Shmuley. Little tiny steps and it broke my heart. It hurts me, and the day he died, it killed me, it killed me. I destroyed me. And that's...
SB: But what happened to (Princess) Diana, that was a great tragedy, Michael.
MJ: That was a great tragedy. That killed me. That killed everybody, I think.
SB: It's not good to die young. It may make you into a myth, Michael. But life is to precious, no?
MJ: Life is beautiful and precious.
SB: So you think one day you're going to become just a myth.
MJ: See, why can't we be like the trees? That come, you know, they lose their leaves in the winter, and come back as beautiful all over again in the spring, you know? It's a sense of immorality to them, and the bible says man was meant for immortality. But through sin and all this, we get death.
SB: But maybe you go to a different place, to a higher place, and your soul, will suddenly unrestricted, can actually move closer to people. Think about it. God is here right now, Michael. We both believe that, even though you can't touch him or feel him. Are the souls of our loved ones very different?
MJ: I would love to come back as, as, as a child that never grows old, like Peter Pan. I wish, I wish I could believe that that's true, that I keep coming back. I hope that's true, I would like to believe that, Shmuley.
SB: In reincarnation? You keep on being reincarnated as a baby?
MJ: Yeah, even though our, my religion (the Jehovah's Witnesses Church), talks against it, that there's no such thing as (reincarnation)... When you die, the soul dies and it's like a couch, the dead, you know? But there's the promise of the resurrection and all that.
SB: But for the Hindus, they believe you come back.
MJ: I'd like to believe that, and I like what the Egyptians and the Africans do, how they bury (their dead)... I'd like to see, we would all like to see, what the other side looks like. Don't we?
SB: We wish we knew what lies after life, what heaven is like.
MJ: Yes, because there are so many concepts.
SB: Do you think there are children playing in Heaven?
MJ: Oh, God, I pray that that is what it is like.
SB: Are there adults playing, too?
MJ: I would think so and I would think that they are very childlike. Like Adam and Eve, it is just a happy garden, a perfect peaceful place. I pry that it is like that.
SB: Are you afraid of death?
MJ: Yes.
SB: We all are.
MJ: I always said I want to be buried right where there are children, I want them next to me. I would feel safer that way. I want them next to me. I need their spirit protecting me. I always see that in my mind and I see myself and I hate to see it. I see myself and I see children lying there to protect me.



That is the end of that part of the book. Tomorrow I will post Part One: CHILDHOOD FAME and JOE JACKSON. The first section is Childhood, Loneliness, Cartoons and Brothers. There are 7 sections in Part One. Normally I will post a section a day, but one of the sections is short, I might post another one.

Thanks for reading... whoever is reading.

XOXO
Rachel Roo
*Its all for the LOVE. L-O-V-E

What Its All About

I would like to start by saying that I am a very big fan of Michael Jackson. I have been since i knew who he was, and will be until the day i die. I would also like to say that i do NOT condone anyone taking advantage of Michael Jackson for their own advances. I don't think its right that a lot of people in his life and now in his death are taking advantage of him to make money or make themselves a part of the public eye. With that said, I know a lot of hard core fans, like myself, do not stand for books, such as: "The Michael Jackson Tapes", written by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach or the move, "This Is It", a documentary focusing on his rehearsals of his "This Is It" tour. I completely understand the reasoning behind this, because i too agree that people should not be taking advantage of his death. Although (not to contradict what i have just stated) for fans, it is really hard to grasp the fact that Michael is gone. The truth though, is that he is gone, he's gone and will never come back. But we as fans, need to make sure that he is not gone in spirit, and make sure that hes presence will never disappear, and never fade. This blog is my way of doing so.

I recently received the book "The Michael Jackson Tapes" from a friend. I wouldn't buy it myself because I refused to let someone else profit off of Michael, once again. Nor did i ask anyone to buy it for me, for the same reason. The reality of the situation was that, it was bought for me, and i did read it. It is Michael at his purest, stripped of the fame and the fear of someone judging him. After reading it i felt an abundance of feelings. I felt bad for him, I felt happy for him, I felt sad for him.. the easiest way I can put it is, I simply felt for him. Alright, sooo, Rabbi Shmuley, well i can say two things about him. I will say that AT THE TIME him and Michael were spending time together, I think, he was a good person for Michael. In my opinion, I truly think that Michael should have continued to have the rabbi apart of his life. When i was reading the book, i truly felt that he was making a good impact in Michael's life. Now, when i was reading some of his commentary, that he put in after Michael's death, I felt like he was trying to exploit him, in a negative light, the same way Martin Bashir did. I'm not sure if I think this guy was completely trust worthy. I have put together a hypothesis, i believe that when he was spending time with Michael he was sincere, but when him and Michael lost contact, he may have gotten a bit resentful.

Since I know a lot of people may feel the same way as I, and do not want to, or will not go out and buy this book because they don't want to profit the rabbi, I'm going to copy the book, word by word. That way you can read it from me, someone who only wants to spread his word, and keep his presence known. Not every blog will be about Michael or about the book. Some blogs will be my personal blogs, that way anyone that reads this can get to know me, and vise-versa. As of right now, i have no followers, but i plan on changing that. I don't know how, but ill network or something. Anyway, the way I'm going to do this, is I'm only going to copy the interview itself. I'm not going to put any of the rabbi's commentary. If i get enough.. well actually if i get more then 10 people that want me to put his comments in, then i will. I will also be putting up pics and links to different things. Some about myself, and some about Michael, and some about whatever i want.. cause it is my blog lol.

Well I hope everyone enjoys my blog. I will start on everything tomorrow. Thank you to anyone who will read this.

Sincerely,
Rachel Roo
HOLLAAAAAAAAAAAAA