Part 1: Michael's Appearance: An Ugly Man in the Mirror

First I would like to say that, Michael was a cutie no matter how he looked. XOXO - Rachel Roo

Shmuley Boteach: You have to live a long happy life. But do you really think that one day you will decide to become a recluse and disappear?
Michael Jackson: Yeah.
SB: Live in Neverland and lock up the gates. Will that be it?
MJ: Yeah. I know I am.
SB: But why? Because you don't want people to see you growing old?
MJ: I can't deal with it. I love beautiful things too much and the beautiful things in nature and I want my messages to get out to the world, but I don't want to be seen now... like when my picture came up on the computer, it made me sick when i saw it.
SB: Why?
MJ: Because I am like a lizard. It is horrible. I never like it. I wish I could never be photographed or seen and I push myself to go to the things that we go to. I really do.
SB: Micheal, some people have written that your father used to say that you were ugly. Is that true?
MJ: Uh-huh. He used to make fun of... I remember we were on a plane one time, ready to take off, and I was going through an awkward puberty when your features start to change. And he went. "Ugh, you have a big nose. You didn't get if from me." He didn't realize how much that hurt me. It hurt me so bad, I wanted to die.
SB: Was that a hostile remark aimed at your mother, "You didn't get it from me?"
MJ: I don't know what he was trying to say.
SB: Do you think its important to tell children they are beautiful?
MJ: Yes, but not to overdo it. You are beautiful inside. Do it that way. Price looks in the mirror as he's combing his hair and he says, "I look good." I say, "You look okay."
SB: Don't you think your father instilled in you a belief that you are not handsome? So you tried to change your appearance a bit, and you still are not happy. So really you have to begin to love your appearance and yourself and all of that.
MJ: I know, I wish I could.
SB: We all have problems with our appearance. Look, I have this scraggly beard. When I do TV appearances, the people I work with always tell me to cut it, to trim it. But my religion doesn't let me cut my beard, and it gets long.
MJ: Would you like to cut your beard?
SB: Yes, to be honest I would. Not completely. Just trim it. But God and my religion are more important to me than looks and appearances.
MJ: You are not allowed to?
SB: Essentially, no. I roll it up here. A lot of rabbis cut their beards and some don't...
MJ: When they cut theirs, is that against the rules?
SB: The rules are interpreted differently by different rabbis. The Bible says you can't use a knife on your face. So some people take that to mean, literally, a knife. So those are the people who cut their beard with an electric shaver but not with a razor, a naked blade. To others the meaning of the verse is any kind of sharp object that cuts the beard. But my wife, Debbie, says, " I didn't marry a man who is going to try and conform to society. I married a man I wanted to respect and you are a rabbi. Be proud of who you are."
MJ: She doesn't mind the beard?
SB: Not only doesn't she mind, she would be very upset if I cut it at all. She said to me just this morning, "If you really love and respect me you would never say that because it bothers me that you want to trim your looks to fit in more." My wife wants me to live always by my principles.
MJ: That's amazing.
SB: The other night, Thursday night, you looked fantastic. (Michael had gotten all dressed up for Denise Rich's Angel Ball cancer fundraiser). You were the best-looking guy there. So you don't like being photographed?
MJ: I wish I could never be photographed and I wish I could never be seen. Just for entertainment so I design the dance the way I want it to look, and the film the way I want it to look.
SB: Now you want to do movies?
MJ: I love movies, but I can control it, you see. I can't control how those pictures come out with the lighting and my expression at the time. Arggh.
SB: If a child said to you, "I hate being photographed," what would you say to that child?
MJ: I would say, "You don't know how beautiful you are. It's your spirit that's..."
SB: So why are you prepared to say that to everybody except yourself?
MJ: I don't know.
(He said this in a voice of confusion and resignation.)
SB: You see from your fans that tons of women are throwing themselves at you. So that must mean that you are handsome and desirable. You feel all the time that they want to fall in love with you?
MJ: When I think about it-I wouldn't say this on TV- but if I went on the stage thinking about what goes through women's heads, I would never go out on stage. If I was suddenly to start thinking about what they were thinking about... sex, or what I look like naked, then, oh God, that would be so embarrassing. I could never go out. That's so horrible.
SB: A lot of people like being a sex symbol. You don't like it because you are shy about it. Do you know when some women speak to you that its on their mind?
MJ: Umhum. They tell me.
SB: I want to have sex with you?
MJ: Aha.


Again, Thank you for reading, whoever is reading. I'm going to post the next section of Part One, "Michael's Fear of His Father" right after I'm done with this one.

Don't forget to Spread Michael's Message.

XOXO
Rachel Roo