Part 1: A Painful Blessing: All I Wanted Was to Be Loved

Shmuley Boteach: Has God always answered your prayers?
Michael Jackson: Usually. Absolutely. That's why I believe in it.
SB: Do you feel that he has been with you through some of the difficult things in life?
MJ: There hasn't been one thing that I have asked for that I didn't get. It is not materialistic. I am going to say something I have never said before and this is the truth. I have no reason to lie to you and God knows I am telling the truth. I think all my success and fame, and I have wanted it, I have wanted it because I wanted to be loved. That's all. That's the real truth. I wanted people to love me, truly love me, because I never really felt loved. I said I know I have the ability. Maybe if I sharpened my craft, maybe people will love me more. I just wanted to be loved because I think it is very important to be loved and to tell people that you love them and to look in their eyes and say it.
SB: But the flip side of that, Michael, is that if you were given a huge amount of love as a child, then you might now have worked as hard to be successful.
MJ: That's true. That's why I wouldn't want to change anything because it has all worked out in its many different ways.
SB: So you were able to tun the neglect into a blessing?
MJ: Yeah.
SB: I remember a quote from Paul McCartney, who was asked about you when you became a big star. Someone said, "Michael Jackson, is he going to be like these other rock stars-God forbid, dead at thirty and drugs?" And McCartney said, "No. Michael, his whole character is different. He doesn't swear, he doesn't drink." He said this about fifteen years ago. Di you know that about yourself, that you had a character that, if it continued like that, wasn't going to be destroyed by fame and success?
MJ: Yeah. I have always been kinda determined. I have always had a vision of things I have wanted to do and goals I have wanted to reach and nothing could stop me getting that. I am focused and I know what I want and what I want to achieve and I won't get sidetracked. And even though I get down sometimes, I keep running the race of endurance to achieve those goals. It keeps me on track. I am dedicated.
SB: If you are completely happy with who you are, what about... you said you wouldn't have done anything differently because you know that whatever experiences you had in your childhood led to who you are today, your success. So you wouldn't do anything differently?
MJ: no. I am so sensitive to other kids because of my past and I am so happy about that.



I think I'm going to take a break tomorrow. I would really like to just free write so that I can get some stuff out of my system. It's really hard, harder than you may think to just copy this stuff down and not put your own perspective on it. It's even more hard to read the commentary from the Rabbi as I'm writing because some of it is BULL! Other things may be beneficiary to know.. I mean some of the conversations might make a little more sense but I'm not putting any of it in because most of it is BULL! Trust me.

Well thanks for reading whoever is reading.
Remember to spread Michael's Messages
XOXO
Rachel Roo