Part 1: Rose Fine: Michael's Childhood Tutor

Michael Jackson: It left a terrible scar on me.
Shmuley Boteach: What?
MJ: Turbulence and being up there and thinking you were not going to live.
SB: Remember that story you told me about your Jewish tutor?
MJ: Rose Fine?
SB: You told me once on the phone that she used to say to you that if there was a nun on the plane that everyone was going to die.
MJ: She said, "We're okay, we're sitting on the plan and now we have so much faith. I have checked... there isn't a nun on the plane." I always believed that.
SB: Do you still look out for that nun?
MJ: I think about it! I never see a nun on the plane. She (Rose Fine) helped me out a lot because she held my hand and cuddled me. After the show I would run to the room. She would always say to me, "The door's open," and she would leave her door open.
SB: Is it possible if someone is not a biological parent to love a child as much as you love your own child? Do you love children as much as you love Prince and Paris?
MJ: Absolutely.
SB: I have always noticed one of the most impressive things about you is when I say something like, "Prince and Paris are beautiful," you always say, "No. All children are beautiful." You won't let me get away with just praising Prince and Paris.
MJ: They are to me. I see beauty in all children... they are all beautiful to me. It is so beautiful and I love them all-equally. I used to have arguments about it with people who didn't agree with me. They say you should love your own more.
SB: Rose Fine, although she wasn't your biological mother, was able to show you a lot of motherly affection?
MJ: And boy did I need it. I was never with my mother when I was little, very seldom, and I had a wonderful mother. I see her as an angel, and I was always gone, always on tour doing back-to-back concerts, all over America, overseas, clubs, just always gone. That helped me a lot. We took care of her (Rose Fine) until the day she died, Janet and myself. She just died recently.
SB: Do you think she should be mentioned in the context of our children's initiative?
MJ: Please do. She needs to be remembered.
SB: How old was she?
MJ: She would never tell me her age. I think she was in her nineties. She used to say, "When I retire I will tell you my age." But when she retired she still wouldn't tell me. She was with us all the way from the very first professional tour of The Jackson 5 until I was eighteen. The tour was after we broke big-the first hit single. She would always have the power, like some of the concerts would start late and she would always have the power to stop the show because of the Board of Education would say, "You kids cannot go past your time legally." She would always let it go on. She couldn't hurt the audience.
SB: And then she would teach you during the day?
MJ: Aha.
SB: Regular subjects? Mathematics? English? She taught all five of you together?
MJ: Yes together, three hours. She taught Janet, all of them.
SB: Tell me a bit more about her.
MJ: Yes, Rose died this year. Janet and myself, we paid for her nurse and hospital care, and if her television broke down or the electricity, or there was anything wrong with her house, we would cover her bills. Now her husband is sick so I am taking care of him, and because we felt she is our mother and you take care of your mother.
SB: You rally felt that?
MJ: Absolutely. She was more then a tutor and I was so angry at myself that when she died I was far, far away. I couldn't get there. I was in Switzerland and Evvy (Michael's secretary) called me on the phone and told me that she was dead. I went, "What? I am in Switzerland. I can't..." It made me angry, but I did all I could. It also hurt when I cam to the door to see her and I went, "Mrs. Fine, its Michael," and she would go, "You're not Michael." I would say, "It's Michael." And she would say, "Don't say you are Michael. You are not Michael." That kinda sets into the brain and they don't recognize you. That hurts so much. Growing old is not always pretty. It is sad.
SB: How would a child deal with something like that? You have tried to retain your youth, your playfulness, all the things that we talk about. Do you see it as a curse, growing old?
MJ: In a way, when the body starts to break down. But when old people return to childhood, I have seen them, they become very playful and childlike. I relate very well to old people because they have those qualities of a child. Whenever I go to a hospital I always find a way to sneak into another room to talk to the old people. I just did it two days ago because I was in the hospital and they were so sweet and they just welcome you like a child does. They say, "Come in," and we talk. They are simple and sweet.
SB: So life is almost like a circle. You start as a child and then you go trough this adult phase, which isn't always healthy. There are a lot of negative things about it, and you come back, in elderly age, to that innocence, you become a lot more playful. You have a lot more time they way children have. I guess that's why greandparents get along so well with their grandchildren.
MJ: Old people and children are very much alike. They are carefree and play-free and simple and sweet. It is just a spiritual feeling. I don't visit old people's homes as much as I have the orphanages. A lot of them get Alzheimer's and they don't recognize. But I have a great relationship with older people. I love talking to older people and they can tell you stories about when they were kids and how the world was in those days and I love that. There was an old Jewish man in New York a long time ago who said to me, "Always be thankful for your talent and always give to the poor people. Help other people. When I was a little boy my father said to me, 'We are going to take these clothes and these pieces of bread and we are going to wrap them up and you run down the street and up the stairs and knock on the people's door and place it in font of the door and run!' I said, 'Why did you tell us to run?' He said ,"Because when they open the door I don't want them to feel the shame. They have pride. That is real charity." I have never forgotten that (story of the old man). That's sweet, isn't it? And he did that as a little boy all the time.
SB: So have you tried to do charitable acts that no one knows about?
MJ: Yes, without waving the flag. He (the man Michael is quoting above) is saying real charity is giving from the heart without taking credit, and when he ran they didn't know who had left it. It was like God had dropped it there, you know? It was so beautiful. I never forgot that story. I was around eleven when I was told that. He was old, really sweet, a Jewish man, I remember.
SB: Was she (Rose Fine) a committed Jew? Was she observant of her faith? Or was she more of a secular Jew?
MJ: What does that mean?
SB: Did she refrain from traveling on the Sabbath, did she eat only kosher food, things like that?
MJ: Not that I remember. She taught me a lot about the Jewish way. I don't know if she ate the kosher food, but I always felt so bad for her because her son suffered so badly. He was a doctor who died early and the day he died, I remember how deeply dark and sad she was. He was a wonderful doctor, went to Harvard, and he was tall and handsome. He had some kind of brain tumor. I can't imagine losing your own child like that, let alone losing any child.
SB: Did you find out anything about Judaism from Rose Fine?
MJ: She taught me about the Jewish culture and I will never forget when I was a little kid we landed in Germany, she got real quiet. I said, "What's wrong, Miss Fine?" You know how kids can tell when something is wrong with their mother? She said, "I don't like it." I said, "Why?" She said,"A lot of people suffered here." That's when I first learned about the concentration camps, through her, because I didn't know nothing about it. I'll never forget that feeling. She said she felt cold there, she could feel it. What a sweet person. She taught me the wonderful world of books and reading and I wouldn't be the same person if it wasn't for her. I owe a lot to her and that's why I am dedicating the new album to her.
SB: Do you think she saw you as her son?
MJ: She called me her son. Whenever you go on the plane you see these seven little black kids and a black father, all got big Afros, would stop her and go, "Who are you?" She would say, "I'm the mother." She would say it every time and they would let her go. Sweet story. She was special. I needed her
SB: Did she show you unconditional love?
MJ: Yes.
SB: So you think unconditional love can be shown even by two people who are not related by blood?
MJ: Oh my God, yes, of course. I think I leaned it thought her and I have seen it and I have experienced it. It doesn't matter with blood or race or creed or color. Love is love and it breaks all boundaries and you just see it right away. I see it in children's eyes. When I see children, I see helpless little puppies. They are so sweet. How could anybody hurt them? They are so wonderful.
SB: She died this year so that means you have to deal with grief. Who does a child deal with grief? A child lives in a paradise, a perfect world that we are trying to describe. Adults are later largely corrupted thought their wars and their jealousy and their cynicism, and suddenly along comes death and even a child has to deal with a death. So how do you deal with death? And how does a child deal with death?
MJ: Yes, I have had to deal with death and it is very difficult.



Well that is the End of Part One. I'm going to skip part two and do that last.
I'm going to Part Three:Fame In Adulthood.

Thank you for reading, whoever is reading.
Remember to spread Michael's Message xoxo

<33
Rachel Roo

Part 1: A Painful Blessing: All I Wanted Was to Be Loved

Shmuley Boteach: Has God always answered your prayers?
Michael Jackson: Usually. Absolutely. That's why I believe in it.
SB: Do you feel that he has been with you through some of the difficult things in life?
MJ: There hasn't been one thing that I have asked for that I didn't get. It is not materialistic. I am going to say something I have never said before and this is the truth. I have no reason to lie to you and God knows I am telling the truth. I think all my success and fame, and I have wanted it, I have wanted it because I wanted to be loved. That's all. That's the real truth. I wanted people to love me, truly love me, because I never really felt loved. I said I know I have the ability. Maybe if I sharpened my craft, maybe people will love me more. I just wanted to be loved because I think it is very important to be loved and to tell people that you love them and to look in their eyes and say it.
SB: But the flip side of that, Michael, is that if you were given a huge amount of love as a child, then you might now have worked as hard to be successful.
MJ: That's true. That's why I wouldn't want to change anything because it has all worked out in its many different ways.
SB: So you were able to tun the neglect into a blessing?
MJ: Yeah.
SB: I remember a quote from Paul McCartney, who was asked about you when you became a big star. Someone said, "Michael Jackson, is he going to be like these other rock stars-God forbid, dead at thirty and drugs?" And McCartney said, "No. Michael, his whole character is different. He doesn't swear, he doesn't drink." He said this about fifteen years ago. Di you know that about yourself, that you had a character that, if it continued like that, wasn't going to be destroyed by fame and success?
MJ: Yeah. I have always been kinda determined. I have always had a vision of things I have wanted to do and goals I have wanted to reach and nothing could stop me getting that. I am focused and I know what I want and what I want to achieve and I won't get sidetracked. And even though I get down sometimes, I keep running the race of endurance to achieve those goals. It keeps me on track. I am dedicated.
SB: If you are completely happy with who you are, what about... you said you wouldn't have done anything differently because you know that whatever experiences you had in your childhood led to who you are today, your success. So you wouldn't do anything differently?
MJ: no. I am so sensitive to other kids because of my past and I am so happy about that.



I think I'm going to take a break tomorrow. I would really like to just free write so that I can get some stuff out of my system. It's really hard, harder than you may think to just copy this stuff down and not put your own perspective on it. It's even more hard to read the commentary from the Rabbi as I'm writing because some of it is BULL! Other things may be beneficiary to know.. I mean some of the conversations might make a little more sense but I'm not putting any of it in because most of it is BULL! Trust me.

Well thanks for reading whoever is reading.
Remember to spread Michael's Messages
XOXO
Rachel Roo

Part 1: Protective of Janet

Shmuley Boteach: Let me just share one though. You said your father would humiliate you when you were in concert and he would make you cry and push you out on stage in front of all the girls who loved you.. to do what? To show his power over you?
Michael Jackson: Well, um, no. He wouldn't do it on the stage. Like after the show, there's be the room full of girls. He would love to bring the girls in the room, my father. And after the show we'd have something to eat, or whatever, and the room would be just lined with girls giggling, just loving us, like "oh my god!" and shaking. And if I was talking and something happened and he didn't like it, he's get this look in his eye like... he'd get this look in his eye that would just scare you to death. He slapped me so hard in the face, as hard as he could, and then he's thrust me out into the big room, where they are, tears running down my face, and what are you suppose to do, you know?
SB: And how old where you now?
(Prince in the background, "We're three!"...laughing)
MJ: Uh, no more like, twelve...eleven, something around there.
SB: So these were the first moments that you felt shame in your life? Really humiliated?
MJ: No, there were other ones. He did some rough, cruel...cruel... I don't know why. He was rough. The way he would beat you was hard, you know? He would make you strip nude first. He would oil you down. It would be a whole ritual. He would oil you down so when the tip of the ironing cord hit you (makes noise mimicking), you know... and it would be like dying and you had whips all over your face, your back, everywhere. And I always heard my mother like, "No, Joe! You're going to kill 'em. You're gonna kill 'em, no!" And I would just give up, like there was nothing I could do. And I hated him for it, hated him. We all did. We used to say to our mother, we used to say to each other, and I'll never forget this. Janet and myself would say, we used to say.. I used to say, "Janet, shut your eyes." She'd go, "Okay, they're shut." And I'd say, "Picture Joseph in a coffin. He's dead. Did you feel sorry?" She'd go, "No." Just like that. That's what we used to do to each other as kids. We would like play games like that. And that's how hateful we were. I'd go, "He's in a coffin, he's dead. Would you feel sorry?" She'd go "Nope," just like that. That's how angry we were with him. And I love him today, but he was hard, Shmuley. He was rough.
SB: But did you know that that was part of being corrupted as a child when you start feeling that way-hatred? Did you know, "I gotta get rid of this somehow. I gotta do something about this"?
MJ: Yeah, I wanted to become such a wonderful performer that I would get love back.
SB: So you could change him, you though. If you...so you thought that if you became a great star, very successful, and were loved by the world, and where very successful, you father would love you too.
MJ: Aha.
SB: So you could change him that way.
MJ: Aha. I was hoping I could and I was hoping I could get love from other people, 'cause I needed it real bad, you know? You need love, you need love. That's the most important thing. That's why I feel bad for those kids who sit in those orphanages and hospitals and they're all alone and they tie them to the beds-they tie them because they don't have enough staff. I go, "Are you crazy?" And I go to each bed just freeing them, releasing them. I say, "This isn't a way to do children. You don't tie them down." Or they have them chained to the walls in some places, like Romania. And they have them sleep in there own feces and their tinkle.
SB: Do you identify more with people like that 'cause you're also that sensitive?
MJ: Yeah, I always hold Mushki (The Rabbi's eldest daughter who was about 12 at the time) the most 'cause I feel her pain. She is in so much pain. When Janet when through her fat stage she cried a lot, my sister Janet. She decided to lose it all, "I'm gonna lose this," and she did it. She used to be very unhappy.
SB: Are you protective of her as a younger sister?
MJ: Yeah, I was determined to make her lose the weight. I was bad. I would tease her to make her lose it. I didn't like it on her. I didn't like it because I knew she would have a hard time.
SB: How did you get her to do something about it?
MJ: I said you have to lose weight 'cause you look like a fat cow. I would tell her that and that was mean of me to say that. She would say, "Shut up," and I'd say "You shut up." But I was determined to make my sister took good because deep in my heart I love her and I want to make her shine and when she became a star on, you know... records, I was so happy and proud because, you know, she did it.
SB: Are you still protective of her as a younger sister?
MJ: Yes, yes... I just wish that we were closer. We're close in spirit but not as a family. Because we don't celebrate, , we have to reason to come together now. I wish that was instilled in us. I love what I saw you guys do, that blessing thing that touches my heart a lot. I see why you're so close to them, it's sweet.



I'm only posting one more section tonight because I'm tired. I will be posting, "A Painful Blessing: All I Wanted Was to Be Loved"

Thank you for reading, whoever is reading.
Remember to pass on Michael's Message L.O.V.E

XOXO
Rachel Roo

Part 1: Michael's Fear of His Father

Shmuley Boteach: You know Michael, I used to judge my father a lot and one day I stopped judging him because he had his own challenges. He has had a very difficult life that began in abject poverty in Iran. And it wasn't easy for Jews growing up in Iran. Who knows what his childhood was like? Do you still judge your father?
Michael Jackson: I used to. I used to get so angry at him. I would just go in my room and just scream out of anger because I didn't understand how a person could be so vicious and mean. Like sometimes I would be in bed sleeping, it would be 12 o'clock at night. I would have recorded all day, been singing all day, no fun, no play. He comes home late. "Open the door." The door is locked. He said, "Why didn't you sign the contract?" I go, "I don't know." He goes, "Well, sign it. If you don't sign it you are in trouble." It's like, "Oh my God, why?" Where is the love? Where is the fatherhood?" I go, "Is it really this way?" He would throw you and hit you as hard as he can. He was very physical.
SB: Did you begin to feel that you were a moneymaking machine for him?
MJ: Yes, absolutely.
SB: Just like Macaulay Culkin described? So you felt used?
MJ: Yes. And one day-I hate to repeat it- but one day he said, and God bless my father because he did some wonderful things and he was brilliant, he was a genius, but one day he said, "If you guys ever stop singing I will drop you like a hot potato." I hurt me. You would think he would think that would hurt us? If I said something like that to Prince and Paris that would hurt. You don't say something like that to children and I never forgot it. It affects my relationship with him today.
SB: So that if you didn't perform for him he would stop loving you?
MJ: He would drop us like a hot potato. That's what he said.
SB: Did your mother always run over and say, " Don't listen to him. He doesn't mean it."?
MJ: She was always the one in the background when he would lose his temper-hitting us and beating us. I hear it now. (Adopts female voice.) "Joe, no, you are going to kill them. No! No, Joe, it's to much," and he would be breaking furniture and it was terrible. I always said if I ever have kids I will never behave like this way. I won't touch a hair on their heads. Because people always say the abused abuse and its not true. Its not true. I am totally the opposite. The worst I do is I make them stand in the corner for a little bit and that's it and that's my time out for them.
SB: I think you are right. I hate when I hear things like the abused abuse. It means that you are condemned to be a bad person.
MJ: It's not true. I always promised in my hear that I would never be this way, never. If-and it can be in a movie or in a department store-I hear someone arguing with their child, I break down and cry. Because it reflects how I was treated when I was little. I break down at that moment and I shake and cry. I can't take it. Its hard.
SB: When my parents divorced, we moved away and my father lived 3,500 miles away from us. And it was difficult to be close to him. But I love him, and I try never to judge him, and I have made a great effort to be much, much closer to him. We have to take seriously the Bible's commandment to always honor our parents. The Bible doesn't say, "Honor them if they've earned it." It simply commands us to honor them. Just by virtue of them having given us life they have earned it.
MJ: I am scared of my father to this day. My father walked in the room-and God knows I am telling the truth-I have fainted in his presence many times. I have fainted once to be honest. I have thrown up in his presence because when he comes in the room and this aura comes and my stomach starts hurting and I know I am in trouble. He is so different now. Time and age has changed him and he sees his grandchildren and he wants to be a better father. It is almost like the ship has sailed its course and it is so hard for me to accept this other guy that is not the guy I was raised with. I just wished he had learned that earlier.
SB: So why are you still scared?
MJ: Because the scar is still there, the wound.
SB: So you still see him as the first man. It is hard for you to see him as this new man?
MJ: I can't see him as the new man. I am like an angel in front of him, like scared. One day he said to me, "Why are you scared of me?" I couldn't answer him. I felt like saying,"Do you know what you have done?" (voice breaks) "Do you know what you have done to me?"
SB: It is so important for me to hear this. Because as your friend and as someone who is asked constantly about you, it is so important for me to understand these things. It is so important for the world to understand this. You see Michael, no one would have judged you as harshly if they had heard this. They would have made more of an effort to empathize with your own suffering rather then just condemning you. Do you call him Dad or Joseph.
MJ: We weren't allowed to call him Dad when we were growing up. He said, "Don't call me Dad. I am Joseph." That what he told us. But now he wants to be called Dad. It is hard for me. I can't call him Dad. He would make it a point: "Don't call me Dad. I am Joseph." I love when Prince and Paris call me "Daddy", or when you hear little Italian kids call "Papa", or Jewish kids call "Poppy." Sweet, how you not be proud of that? That's your offspring.
SB: From what age did he tell you not to call him Dad?
MJ: From a little kid all the way up to Off the wall, Thriller.
SB: He felt he was more professional that way?
MJ: No. He felt that he was this young stud. He was too cool to be dad. He was Joseph. I would hate him to hear me say this....
SB: I read somewhere that your mother was thinking of getting divorced and she filed or something.
MJ: I don't know if she filed, maybe. No, no, she didn't file. She wanted to, many times, because of other women and because he was difficult. But in the name of religion she only can divorce on the grounds of fornication. And he has been in that area before and she knows it. But she is such a saint that she won't part with him. She knows he is out doing other things and fooling around and she is so good and he will come home and lay next to her in the bed. I don't know anyone like her. She is like Mother Teresa. There are very few people like that.
SB: So she is a long-suffering, saintly kind of woman. Do you feel that she has suffered too long? That she shouldn't have put up with it?
MJ: We used to beg her to divorce him. We used to say, "Mother, divorce him." She used to say, "Leave me alone, No!" We used to say, "Get rid of him." We used to scream it at her, "Divorce him" when we were little. But many years we'd hear the car coming down the drive. He always drove his big Mercedes and he drives real slow. "Joseph's home, quick!" Everybody runs to their room, doors slam.
SB: You were that scared of him?
MJ: Yeah. I always said, "When I come home and walk through the door I want the kids to go "Daddy," and jump all over me and that's what mine do. I want just the opposite. I don't want them to run.



Tomorrow I will post three more sections... well later today since it is 12:55AM. Anyway, tomorrow I will post "Protective of Janet", "A Painful Blessing: All I Wanted Was to Be Loved", and "Rose Fine: Michael's Childhood Tutor". Then I will start with a new part of the book.

Thank you for reading, whoever is reading.
Remember, spread Michael's message.. L.O.V.E.

XOXO
Rachel Roo

p.s. in a while I'm going to make this blog viewable to only blog users. You do not need to write in it, but you do have to sign up at the website.
<3

Part 1: Michael's Appearance: An Ugly Man in the Mirror

First I would like to say that, Michael was a cutie no matter how he looked. XOXO - Rachel Roo

Shmuley Boteach: You have to live a long happy life. But do you really think that one day you will decide to become a recluse and disappear?
Michael Jackson: Yeah.
SB: Live in Neverland and lock up the gates. Will that be it?
MJ: Yeah. I know I am.
SB: But why? Because you don't want people to see you growing old?
MJ: I can't deal with it. I love beautiful things too much and the beautiful things in nature and I want my messages to get out to the world, but I don't want to be seen now... like when my picture came up on the computer, it made me sick when i saw it.
SB: Why?
MJ: Because I am like a lizard. It is horrible. I never like it. I wish I could never be photographed or seen and I push myself to go to the things that we go to. I really do.
SB: Micheal, some people have written that your father used to say that you were ugly. Is that true?
MJ: Uh-huh. He used to make fun of... I remember we were on a plane one time, ready to take off, and I was going through an awkward puberty when your features start to change. And he went. "Ugh, you have a big nose. You didn't get if from me." He didn't realize how much that hurt me. It hurt me so bad, I wanted to die.
SB: Was that a hostile remark aimed at your mother, "You didn't get it from me?"
MJ: I don't know what he was trying to say.
SB: Do you think its important to tell children they are beautiful?
MJ: Yes, but not to overdo it. You are beautiful inside. Do it that way. Price looks in the mirror as he's combing his hair and he says, "I look good." I say, "You look okay."
SB: Don't you think your father instilled in you a belief that you are not handsome? So you tried to change your appearance a bit, and you still are not happy. So really you have to begin to love your appearance and yourself and all of that.
MJ: I know, I wish I could.
SB: We all have problems with our appearance. Look, I have this scraggly beard. When I do TV appearances, the people I work with always tell me to cut it, to trim it. But my religion doesn't let me cut my beard, and it gets long.
MJ: Would you like to cut your beard?
SB: Yes, to be honest I would. Not completely. Just trim it. But God and my religion are more important to me than looks and appearances.
MJ: You are not allowed to?
SB: Essentially, no. I roll it up here. A lot of rabbis cut their beards and some don't...
MJ: When they cut theirs, is that against the rules?
SB: The rules are interpreted differently by different rabbis. The Bible says you can't use a knife on your face. So some people take that to mean, literally, a knife. So those are the people who cut their beard with an electric shaver but not with a razor, a naked blade. To others the meaning of the verse is any kind of sharp object that cuts the beard. But my wife, Debbie, says, " I didn't marry a man who is going to try and conform to society. I married a man I wanted to respect and you are a rabbi. Be proud of who you are."
MJ: She doesn't mind the beard?
SB: Not only doesn't she mind, she would be very upset if I cut it at all. She said to me just this morning, "If you really love and respect me you would never say that because it bothers me that you want to trim your looks to fit in more." My wife wants me to live always by my principles.
MJ: That's amazing.
SB: The other night, Thursday night, you looked fantastic. (Michael had gotten all dressed up for Denise Rich's Angel Ball cancer fundraiser). You were the best-looking guy there. So you don't like being photographed?
MJ: I wish I could never be photographed and I wish I could never be seen. Just for entertainment so I design the dance the way I want it to look, and the film the way I want it to look.
SB: Now you want to do movies?
MJ: I love movies, but I can control it, you see. I can't control how those pictures come out with the lighting and my expression at the time. Arggh.
SB: If a child said to you, "I hate being photographed," what would you say to that child?
MJ: I would say, "You don't know how beautiful you are. It's your spirit that's..."
SB: So why are you prepared to say that to everybody except yourself?
MJ: I don't know.
(He said this in a voice of confusion and resignation.)
SB: You see from your fans that tons of women are throwing themselves at you. So that must mean that you are handsome and desirable. You feel all the time that they want to fall in love with you?
MJ: When I think about it-I wouldn't say this on TV- but if I went on the stage thinking about what goes through women's heads, I would never go out on stage. If I was suddenly to start thinking about what they were thinking about... sex, or what I look like naked, then, oh God, that would be so embarrassing. I could never go out. That's so horrible.
SB: A lot of people like being a sex symbol. You don't like it because you are shy about it. Do you know when some women speak to you that its on their mind?
MJ: Umhum. They tell me.
SB: I want to have sex with you?
MJ: Aha.


Again, Thank you for reading, whoever is reading. I'm going to post the next section of Part One, "Michael's Fear of His Father" right after I'm done with this one.

Don't forget to Spread Michael's Message.

XOXO
Rachel Roo

Part 1: The Father-Manager

Shmuley Boteach: What if someone were to say, "Michael. Look. So you disagree with the way your father raised you. He was a strict disciplinarian. He could be tough and even mean. But his methods worked," And even you, now, you say that professional success is not what primarily matters, and I would agree with you. But you were the one, in one of our first conversations, that said, "I owe my father a lot. He taught me how to move and how to dance." And being a big star, you've repeatedly said, is very important to you. So what if someone said, "You're wrong and he's right. He made you what you are today. So how dare you be so ungrateful?" Especially, Michael, since he grew up in such poverty and wanted to save you from his fate of working in the steel mills. He thought,"Better Michael practice and rehearse as a kid, rather then play on the monkey bars, because at least this will give him a good income later and he can live a life of dignity."
Michael Jackson: He did a brilliant job with training me for the stage as an artist, but (as a) father he was very, very strict. I hate to judge him, but I would have done things a lot different as a father. I never felt love from him. I remember being on the airplane and they used to have to carry me on the plane because I hated turbulence and I would be screaming and kicking because we would take off in storms. I remember it very clearly. He would never hold me or touch me and the stewardesses would have to come and hold my hand and caress me.
SB: Was he an angry man?
MJ: I think he was bitter. I don't know why. Man, he is not like that anymore, but he was tough. The toughest person I ever met.
SB: What if someone said to you, "Look Michael. You can't have it both ways. He was a great manager but not a warm and affectionate parent. He taught you how to move and he taught you discipline." Are you going to say that you would be prepared to give up being the biggest recording star in order to have had a loving childhood? Or do you feel the choice is not necessary, that you could have been who you are without.
MJ: He could have done all the other things with me and had time to be a father sometime-play a game or catch a ball. I remember I told you the one time he put me on a pony. I don't think he even realized how that is marked in my brain forever.
SB: That was one of the most moving stories about fatherhood that I have heard. That a single gesture on the part of a father to a son could make such an indelible mark is astonishing and very moving.
MJ: I think about it today and wish he had done a little more, just a little more. To this day I would have felt totally different about it.
SB: And maybe you wouldn't have been as eager to prove yourself. If you were a lot of love as a child, maybe you wouldn't need the world to love you and you wouldn't be the superstar. Would you be prepared to give it up in order to be more loved as a child?
MJ: No, I would never give it up. That's my job. I was given this for a reason. I really believe it and feel it...
SB:... that God has chosen you, given you this special...
MJ: I really believe that. If you could see some of the faces around the world and people say, "Thank you, thank you for saving the life of me and my children. Can I touch you?" and then they start crying. It's like healing. We are given this for a reason... to help people.
SB: So what Shirley Temple did for you with those posters (that you could put up in your hotel rooms to feel safe), you are doing for people around the world and to a much bigger extent.
MJ: Oh yeaaah. Oh yeaaah. That's it and I just want to say, "Thank you" (to Shirley Temple Black for inspiring Michael in his low moments) and I started to cry so badly that I just couldn't get words out and she touched my hand and rubbed it like that.
SB: Michael, when you say to her that you didn't know if you could continue, and then you had a look at the posters of her movies when she was a kid, what was going to defeat you? What was it? The mean-spiritedness that people were showing? The fact that you always had to work to keep up to be the best? All those things?
MJ: Working hard, not having a chance to stop and play and have a lot of fun. We got a little bit in the hotels with pillow fights between me and my brothers and stuff like that and trowing stuff out the window. But really we hurt a lot. I remember we were on our way to South America and I was at home and it was time to go and I started crying so bad that I hid. I did not want to go and I said, "I just want to be like everyone else. I just want to be normal." And my father found me and made me get in the car and go, because we had to do a (concert) date. Then you meet people on the road, somebody on your floor, could be family, and you know that you have to have as much fun as you can in a short time because you are not going to see them again and that hurts. You know that the friendship won't be a long one. That kind of stuff really hurts bad, especially when you are a little kid.
SB: Your whole life you have had to put your career before your nurturing relationships. So do you have something nurturing in your life today? A car can't run without gas, and you can't continue without love being given to you. You can't just give love and never get it back. And to say you get it from the fans is not enough, Michael, because they love you for what you do and not for who you are. They love you for the electricity and excitement you bring into their lives.
MJ: I get ti back though the happiness and the joy that I see in eyes of the children. They saved my life so I want to... give it back (Michael starts crying). They saved me. I am not joking. Just being with them, just seeing them. It really has.
SB: When you grew up, did you feel promises were broken to you?
MJ: My father broke a big one that I'm angry with to this very day. He cajoled me into signing a contract with Columbia when I was eighteen with the promise that I'd get to have dinner with Fred Astaire. My father knew that I loved Fred with all my heart. He know I would sign without even reading the contract, and he walked away happy and he never did anything about it. He'd say he was sorry or whatever. It broke my heart that he did that. He tricked me.
SB: Did you ever tell him how upset you were?
MJ: No. He doesn't know to his day how much he hurt me. That's why I won't make promises I can't keep.


That is the end of that section. Yesterday I said that I would be doing two sections today. I have looked over Part One of the book, and I've decided that I'm going to do 2 more sections today. I will be doing " Michael's Appearance: An Ugly Man in the Mirror right after I get done with this. And right after I will do the next section, "Michael's Fear of His Father". Tomorrow I will do the last 3 sections of Part One.

Again, Thanks for reading, whoever is reading.
Remember to spread Michael's Message
XOXO
Rachel Roo

I'll Be There

Well I got this video off of you tube. and i should have looked at it all the way. At the end it says something along the lines of " White or Black hes still the king of pop" ... I'm not going to get into it to much, but I will say that I don't condone that message. I agree with it. But I think it might have been said by someone absent minded about his condition.

With L.O.V.E

Rachel Roo

Part 1: Childhood, Loneliness, Cartoons, and Brothers

Shmuley Boteach: Was there an age at which your realized, "Oh my gosh, I missed my childhood?"
Michael Jackson: Yes, I remember distinctly... It's like being on a ride you can't get off and you think, "Oh my God. What did I do?" and you are committed and you can't get off. It hit me before I was a teenager. I wanted to badly to play in the part across the street because the kids were playing baseball and football but I had to record. I could see the park, right across the street. But I had to go in the other building and work until late at night making the albums. I sat thee looking at the kids with tears running down my face and i would say, "I am trapped and I have to do this for the rest of my life. I am under contract." But I wanted to go over there so bad it was killing me, just to make a friend to say,"Hi." I used to walk the streets looking for someone to talk to. I told you that.
SB: How old were you?
MJ: It was during the Thriller album.
SB: So you were the biggest star in the whole world and...
MJ: I was looking for people to talk to. I was so lonely I would cry in my room upstairs. I would think, "That's it. I am getting out of here," and i would walk down the street. I remember really saying to people, "Will you be my friend?"
SB: They were probably in shock.
MJ: They were like,"Michael Jackson!" I would go, " Oh God! Are you going to be my friend because of Michael Jackson? Or because of me?" I just wanted someone to talk to.
SB: Did you find it?
MJ: Yeah, well, I went to the park and there were kids playing on swings.
SB: So that's when you decided that children were the answer. They are the only ones who treat you as a person?
MJ: Yeah, that's true.
SB: So that's the age that it hit you, "Oh my gosh. I did lose my childhood, because these are the only people I can identify with."
MJ: I suffered a lot in that way. I knew that something was wrong with me at the time. But I needed someone... That's probably why I had the mannequins. I would say because I felt I needed people, someone, I didn't have... I was too shy to be around real people. I didn't talk to them. It wasn't like old ladies talking to plants. But I always thought I wanted something to make me feel like I had company. I always thought, "Why do I have these?" They are like real babies, kids, and people, and it makes me feel like I am in a room with people.
SB: Why were you too shy to talk to real people? Was it because you had only ever learned to perform and you weren't given the opportunity to hang out?
MJ: That's it. There was no hang-out time.
SB: Clearly you have your kids, which makes a very big difference. But there is a part of us that isn't only a parent. There is a part of us that needs other forms of interaction.
MJ: What kind of interaction?
SB: Someone you can unburden yourself to emotionally in a way that Prince couldn't understand or Paris couldn't understand.
MJ: Mmmm. Friends and certain people you can trust. Elizabeth (Taylor), or whoever...Mac (Macaulay Culkin), Shirley Temple (Black), people who have been there.
SB: So its is always people who have been there, all these childhood stars?
MJ: They (people who have not been childhood stars) say,"Yeah, I know what you mean," but they don't know what you mean. They are just trying to agree with you.
SB: do you discuss with friends who were also child stars individual things that happened to them? Or do you not even need to say it: Do you sort of understand it?
MJ: You know, it's like telepathy. I wish you could have seen Shirley Temple and myself.
SB: Are you still in touch with her?
MJ: I am going to call her. I've gotta call her again. I kept thanking her and she was saying, "Why?" and i said, "Because all of you have ever done for me."
SB: Do you think you will ever dedicate a song to her?
MJ: I would love to.
SB: So Macaulay Culkin doesn't need to say to you, " I was on the set and this happened with my father." You don't even have conversations like that?
MJ: Oh yea. There is a precious sweet little soul who is a baby, Macaulay Culkin, who is wondering, " How did I get caught up in all of this? I never asked to be an actor." He always wanted out. You gotta watch that energy when we gets heavy on his father, man, it tears into him and that's what happens, you know. Oh, but I saw it myself with him. (Michael screams) "Mac get in here!" the screaming...
SB: So that reminded you of what you had to go through? He made a lot of the choices that you did. He tried to hold on to his childhood for as long as possible. But there are other child stars who didn't, like Brook Shields, whom you were once close to. What about someone like Brook Shields who to the world looks like she didn't make childhood choices, she didn't try to rediscover her childhood. Do you think it will extract a price? Do you think that Macaulay Culkin and you and others can be healthier because you understand what you are missing and you need to compensate?
MJ: You know, with certain people I understand and with certain ones I don't. With her she started out being a model, so it wasn't like being on set all day, every day. She did modeling. She wasn't a movie star until she did, I think it was Pretty Baby, and she played a female prostitute at the age of... I think it started around twelve for her. There was a lot of photography, so it wasn't like all day like what we did, all day, from early to night. I think it affects people differently, but it is all the same. She is very sweet, smart. She is not an airhead. She is real smart. A lot of people think that when someone is beautiful they are like an airhead. She is very smart.
SB: What other childhood stars have you been close to?
MJ: Not a lot of them are left. That's what is scary. Most of them self-destruct.
SB: At age thirteen you became a character in a cartoon series. Was that hard to handle?
MJ: I woke up every Saturday morning. I couldn't wait.
SB: To watch The Jacksons?
MJ: To watch The Jackson 5 cartoon. I felt so honored that I had been make into a cartoon. I was so happy, you have no idea. We didn't have to do anything. It was someone else's voice. They just animated us and used our songs off the albums that we recorded and it played for years and years. I remember I was in Brunei in a hospital doing a show for the Sultan. It was the most beautiful hospital I have ever seen in my life and I'm laying in bed and there's The Jackson 5 cartoon playing on television and I'm like, I can't believe this. They show it all the time. The same company did The Beatles, The Osmonds, and The Jackson 5.
SB: So this is one of the tings that you liked the most?
MJ: Oh, I loved it.
SB: Did that make you feel more connected with the children round the world? Because you know that children mostly are going to watch it right?
MJ: I loved it. It put me in another world. It was like, "God, I'm in another world." I felt special. I think I felt more special about that then the hit records and the concerts and everything. That impressed me more then any of the other stuff.
SB: Now, out of your five brothers you were getting more attention then any of them. You were becoming the star until you were spun off as a solo artist. Wast that hard for your brothers to handle? Was it hard for you? Was there any analogy to the store in the Bible about Joseph getting more attention then his brother, until they hurt him?
MJ: It didn't some into my mind and I didn't see it until later and then it showed up later. My mother saw it, but she would bring it to my attention. But I think the wives kind of instigated it. It is what broke us up as a group. Wives are what broke up the Beatles. It is what broke up Martin and Lewis. It is what broke up all the great acts. The wives get involved and they start saying to one member, "You're the star. He needs you. You don't need him."
Then he comes into work the next day puffed up with pride and they start to fight. And that's what happened with me and my brothers. They really did. I saw it happen.
SB: That's what turned you off marriage a bit?
MJ: It really did. I said, "I don't want no part of this." I said, "I am not getting married," I said it for years.
SB: Was there any way to have stopped it? Could you have said to your brothers, "Look! What is happening to us?" Could you have stopped it? They married young. They must have been lonely as well.
MJ: They married young to get away from my father, to get out of the house. We begged them not to get married and they did.
SB: Why did you stick around the house?
MJ: I was there at the height of Thriller. I thought I was still this little kid. It's not time for me to go yet. I'm still a boy. Its not time for me to leave home yet. I really felt that in my heart.
SB: But you were till afraid of your father? How does that come together?
MJ: He wasn't managing me at the time, but we was getting a royalty check. He was a little calmer and he was proud of me. But he wouldn't say it.
SB: Did you want to hear it from him?
MJ: I needed it.
SB: More then anyone in the world?
MJ: Yeah.
SB: He will never said it. And he doesn't say it now? Do you think that he knows that you are the biggest star in the world, or do you think in his mind he doesn't get it?
MJ: He knows that but he finds it hard to give you a compliment and that's what made me into such a perfectionist trying to impress him. He'd be in the audience and he would make a face like this. He'd go (makes a facial gesture) and it would scare the bejesus out of you and you'd think, "I can't mess up. He'll kill us." Everybody would clap and he would be like, "We're going to hit you hard. Don't you mess up." I'd be like, "God, I'm in trouble after the show."
SB: Given that there are two motivating forces in life, fear and love, could you have gotten even further if the motivation had been love? Like if your father had said, "Michael, I'll love you anyway, but you can do it." Sure, you can now decry the fear that your father instilled in you. But the problem with that is, you became the biggest star in the world. So maybe fear is a better motivating force then love. To be sure, I don't believe that. But does your example show that that's true?
MJ: I think there is a balance. Is it worth giving up fatherhood? Is it worth giving up the love I could bestowed upon him, and having that camaraderie when we look in each other's eyes, walking through the park, holding hands? I don't think its worth giving up all that. I am sorry. That's golden.
SB: If your career now suffers for being a hands-on father, you are prepared to accept that price?
MJ: No, I am not prepared for that. I can do both. I feel I have to.
SB: You feel that God gave you this potential, this gift, and you have got do so something with it?
MJ: I have to.




Tomorrow I'm going to do 2 sections in Part One. I will do "The Father-Manager" and "Michael's Appearance: An Ugly Man in the Mirror" They are both pretty short.

Again, thank you for reading.. Who ever is reading.
And make sure to share the L.O.V.E. and Michael's Message.

XOXO
Rachel Roo

The Writing Was On The Wall: Talking About Dying Young

Shmuley Boteach: So would you say the best thing that's ever happened to the Beatles is the fact that they broke up, and that's why they had this longevity, because suddenly, kaboom!, they weren't around anymore, so you could never get bored of them? They never fizzled?
Michael Jackson: Yeah, Marilyn Monroe died young. You didn't get to see her grow old and ugly. I mean that's the mystery of James Dean.
SB: And people say about the Beatles, "I wish they were together."
MJ: Yeah, yeah.
SB: And you (the fan) become part of the wish then. The public keeps them going because they so badly want them back together.
MJ: Absolutely, or else they'd be funky and old now and you wouldn't care.
SB: So is that an argument, Michael, for you to say one day, "That's it," and quit?
MJ: Yeah, I would like some kind of way to disappear where people don't see me anymore at some point, and just do things for children but not be visual. To disappear is very important. We are people of change. We need change in our lives. That's why we have winter, spring, summer, fall.
SB: Okay, but you want a long life and a healthy life. You don't want to disappear like, God forbid, the way some of these stars have disappeared, the way Marilyn Monroe has. You don't want to die young?
MJ: Um, your asking me an interesting question. You sure you want my answer?
SB: I do.
MJ: Okay, I'll give you my honest answer. Okay, um. My greatest dream that i have left-I have accomplished my dreams with music and all that and I love music and entertainment-is this children's initiative, is this thing that we are doing. But, um, 'cause I don't care about (anything else), I really don't, I don't care about (career), I honestly don't Shmuley. What keeps me going is children, or else I would, I would seriously... I've told you this before, I swear to god I mean every word. I would, I would just throw in the towel if it wasn't for children or babies. And that's my honest (answer)...and I've said it before, if it weren't for children, I would choose death. I mean it with all my heart.
SB: Choose death the way Marilyn Monroe chose death?
MJ: Some kind of way. I would find a way to go away off the planet 'cause I wouldn't care about living anymore. I'm living for those babies and children.
SB: You see them as really a part, a spark of God here on the earth?
MJ: I swear they are.
SB: So for you it's the most spiritual thing in the world?
MJ: There is nothing more pure and spiritual to me then children and I cannot live without them. If you told me right now, "Michael, you can never see another child," I would kill myself. I swear to you I would because I have nothing else to live for. That's it. Honestly.
SB: So do you want to have a long life?
MJ: Let me take back that word swear, 'cause I don't swear to God. I take that back. I don't want to sue that word. Say this question again?
SB: You said you want to disappear. Do you think its important to disappear?
MJ: I don't want a long (life)... I don't like, I don't. I don't. I think growing old is the ugliest, the most, the ugliest thing. When the body breaks down and you start to wrinkle, I think it's so bad. I don't, that's something I don't understand, Shmuley. And I never want to look in the mirror and see that. I don't understand it. I really don't. And people say that growing old is beautiful and it's this and that. I disagree. I totally do.
SB: So you would die before that happens?
MJ: Um... I don't want to grow old. I would like to get...
SB: What if you could stay young in spirit Michael?
MJ: Yeah, that's important to me.
SB: You may have wrinkles, but don't you want to see Prince and Paris grow up?

(SIDE NOTE FROM ME: WHEN THIS INTERVIEW WAS CONSTRUCTED, PRINCE MICHAEL THE 2ND AKA BLANKET, WAS NOT BORN YET.)

MJ: Yes, I do.
SB: Don't you want to see their children?
MJ: I just don't want to look old and start forgetting. I want to always be youthful and have the energy to run around and play hide and seek, which is one of my favorite games. I wanted to play so badly at your house the last time we were there 'cause you have a nice big house for it. Um, I have to see people grow old, Shmuley.
SB: Haven't you seen people who grow old but keep their youthfulness. They behaved like they were still young?
MJ: Yeah, when they have a youthful heart, I love that. When they start to forget and wrinkle, (and) their body parts break down, it hurts me. Or when they get...
SB: Who has that happened to among the people you've loved? Does your mother grow old on you? Your father? Any entertainers that you know in the industry who grow old?
MJ: Yeah, people I love very much that died and I don't understand why. I was in love with this man, in love with him. And he was my friend, Fred Astaire, and I don't understand. You see Fred, since I was a little, a kid, Fred Astaire lived very close to our house and he used to talk to me all the time when I was little and you know he would teach me things, he would tell me you know, I was gonna be a big star and all this stuff that I didn't even think about when I was little. And to see him dance in movies, I was like amazed. I didn't know anybody could move so beautifully, you know? And, um, when I see him get to the point... One day he said to me, "You know Michael, I, if I was to do one spin right now, I would fall flat on my face. My equilibrium is totally gone." And when he'd answer the door when I'd come to his house, this is how he (walked), just like this Shmuley. Little tiny steps and it broke my heart. It hurts me, and the day he died, it killed me, it killed me. I destroyed me. And that's...
SB: But what happened to (Princess) Diana, that was a great tragedy, Michael.
MJ: That was a great tragedy. That killed me. That killed everybody, I think.
SB: It's not good to die young. It may make you into a myth, Michael. But life is to precious, no?
MJ: Life is beautiful and precious.
SB: So you think one day you're going to become just a myth.
MJ: See, why can't we be like the trees? That come, you know, they lose their leaves in the winter, and come back as beautiful all over again in the spring, you know? It's a sense of immorality to them, and the bible says man was meant for immortality. But through sin and all this, we get death.
SB: But maybe you go to a different place, to a higher place, and your soul, will suddenly unrestricted, can actually move closer to people. Think about it. God is here right now, Michael. We both believe that, even though you can't touch him or feel him. Are the souls of our loved ones very different?
MJ: I would love to come back as, as, as a child that never grows old, like Peter Pan. I wish, I wish I could believe that that's true, that I keep coming back. I hope that's true, I would like to believe that, Shmuley.
SB: In reincarnation? You keep on being reincarnated as a baby?
MJ: Yeah, even though our, my religion (the Jehovah's Witnesses Church), talks against it, that there's no such thing as (reincarnation)... When you die, the soul dies and it's like a couch, the dead, you know? But there's the promise of the resurrection and all that.
SB: But for the Hindus, they believe you come back.
MJ: I'd like to believe that, and I like what the Egyptians and the Africans do, how they bury (their dead)... I'd like to see, we would all like to see, what the other side looks like. Don't we?
SB: We wish we knew what lies after life, what heaven is like.
MJ: Yes, because there are so many concepts.
SB: Do you think there are children playing in Heaven?
MJ: Oh, God, I pray that that is what it is like.
SB: Are there adults playing, too?
MJ: I would think so and I would think that they are very childlike. Like Adam and Eve, it is just a happy garden, a perfect peaceful place. I pry that it is like that.
SB: Are you afraid of death?
MJ: Yes.
SB: We all are.
MJ: I always said I want to be buried right where there are children, I want them next to me. I would feel safer that way. I want them next to me. I need their spirit protecting me. I always see that in my mind and I see myself and I hate to see it. I see myself and I see children lying there to protect me.



That is the end of that part of the book. Tomorrow I will post Part One: CHILDHOOD FAME and JOE JACKSON. The first section is Childhood, Loneliness, Cartoons and Brothers. There are 7 sections in Part One. Normally I will post a section a day, but one of the sections is short, I might post another one.

Thanks for reading... whoever is reading.

XOXO
Rachel Roo
*Its all for the LOVE. L-O-V-E

What Its All About

I would like to start by saying that I am a very big fan of Michael Jackson. I have been since i knew who he was, and will be until the day i die. I would also like to say that i do NOT condone anyone taking advantage of Michael Jackson for their own advances. I don't think its right that a lot of people in his life and now in his death are taking advantage of him to make money or make themselves a part of the public eye. With that said, I know a lot of hard core fans, like myself, do not stand for books, such as: "The Michael Jackson Tapes", written by Rabbi Shmuley Boteach or the move, "This Is It", a documentary focusing on his rehearsals of his "This Is It" tour. I completely understand the reasoning behind this, because i too agree that people should not be taking advantage of his death. Although (not to contradict what i have just stated) for fans, it is really hard to grasp the fact that Michael is gone. The truth though, is that he is gone, he's gone and will never come back. But we as fans, need to make sure that he is not gone in spirit, and make sure that hes presence will never disappear, and never fade. This blog is my way of doing so.

I recently received the book "The Michael Jackson Tapes" from a friend. I wouldn't buy it myself because I refused to let someone else profit off of Michael, once again. Nor did i ask anyone to buy it for me, for the same reason. The reality of the situation was that, it was bought for me, and i did read it. It is Michael at his purest, stripped of the fame and the fear of someone judging him. After reading it i felt an abundance of feelings. I felt bad for him, I felt happy for him, I felt sad for him.. the easiest way I can put it is, I simply felt for him. Alright, sooo, Rabbi Shmuley, well i can say two things about him. I will say that AT THE TIME him and Michael were spending time together, I think, he was a good person for Michael. In my opinion, I truly think that Michael should have continued to have the rabbi apart of his life. When i was reading the book, i truly felt that he was making a good impact in Michael's life. Now, when i was reading some of his commentary, that he put in after Michael's death, I felt like he was trying to exploit him, in a negative light, the same way Martin Bashir did. I'm not sure if I think this guy was completely trust worthy. I have put together a hypothesis, i believe that when he was spending time with Michael he was sincere, but when him and Michael lost contact, he may have gotten a bit resentful.

Since I know a lot of people may feel the same way as I, and do not want to, or will not go out and buy this book because they don't want to profit the rabbi, I'm going to copy the book, word by word. That way you can read it from me, someone who only wants to spread his word, and keep his presence known. Not every blog will be about Michael or about the book. Some blogs will be my personal blogs, that way anyone that reads this can get to know me, and vise-versa. As of right now, i have no followers, but i plan on changing that. I don't know how, but ill network or something. Anyway, the way I'm going to do this, is I'm only going to copy the interview itself. I'm not going to put any of the rabbi's commentary. If i get enough.. well actually if i get more then 10 people that want me to put his comments in, then i will. I will also be putting up pics and links to different things. Some about myself, and some about Michael, and some about whatever i want.. cause it is my blog lol.

Well I hope everyone enjoys my blog. I will start on everything tomorrow. Thank you to anyone who will read this.

Sincerely,
Rachel Roo
HOLLAAAAAAAAAAAAA